Self-hatred

#!/bin/sh

KETTLEMAXIMUM=1000ml
CUPMAXIMUM=50ml
CUP50%=25ml
CUP75%=37.50ml

locate kettle

if [water level in kettle
do
  bring kettle to water tap
  turn on water tap
  place kettle into stream
  fill kettle to $KETTLEMAXIMUM
  turn off water tap
  place kettle on base
elseif [kettle >=$KETTLEMAXIMUM]
  place kettle on base
fi

if [base plugged into wall]
do
  turn on kettle
else
  plug base into wall
  turn on kettle
done

locate tea bag
locate tea cups
locate sugar
locate milk
locate teaspoon

if [cups are clean]
do
  place cups on counter
  add tea bag to cup
else
  bring cup to water tap
  turn on water tap
  place cup into stream
  vigorously clean cup
  turn off water tap
  shake water out of cup
  place cup on counter
  add teabag to cup
done

when [kettle boils]
do
  pour water into cup until until $CUP75% reached
  pour milk in until cup 100 $CUPMAXIMUM reached
done

with teaspoon, scoop two spoons of sugar && pour sugar into tea

echo "Tea is ready!"

drink tea

exit 0