Third-to-last-day at work

Currys has been an interesting eight years, for better or worse. I could always say “haha fuckers!” and write up a shocking kiss and tell expose (those red signs in the shop? Little is it known that the red is actually from the blood of orphans. True fact), but it’s more of my thing to mumble out a few anemic lines.

So it’s been an interesting eight years. Eight years…christ. Nearly a third of my life, if you want to put it that way. I started out during my last year in secondary (at the tender age of 18), pretty much dumping Dunnes Stores at a moment’s notice on the ground that it was a horrible place to work for. It still is, if some horror stories I’ve been told are halfway true.

Me being me, I actually got myself fired during my first day in Currys for some pretty indiscreet comments, although I obviously made things well. I started and stayed as warehoue staff, and although some will argue otherwise, I actually picked up a fair amount of useful things to know. I broadened out into technical support and customer service for a bit, although I was a complete asshole to customers who tried to bring back iPods because they couldn’t read the fucking manual. Or had a computer. Or somehow assumed that the iPod somehow had the internet and iTunes inside it, even though I streesed otherwise before you bought the dammed thing (does it look like it has a slot to swipe your credit card? An iSlot? Ass). I’ve since completely cut down on such support as I was honestly a huge prick to customers.

I loved and hated many co-workers through the years. I’ve had nothing but absolute respect for most of the warehouse staff, although some of you can go burn in hell (Sean the yank, Philip and Adrian come to mind). But the rest of you…respect. I know a lot of people have a very dim view about sales staff in general, but from where we stand, you can’t help but respect a person who’ll convince a young couple that those flat-panel speakers are telepathically controlled, will automatically interface wirelessly with your TV and are so fragile that the five-year warranty is a must (true story).

I bought my first computer through Currys, with Frank and Jenn, saw a really cool game on sale in a local toy store. It has an interesting concept: You were logged into a server with hundreds or thousands of other people and cooperated with them to explore a savage land and do quests. It sounded incredibly cool, so I bought it. At this point I promptly wasted about four years of my life and ran up obscenely huge dialup bills playing Asheron’s Call. I can’t really stress how huge AC has been in my life. It led me down a long and interesting path that’s ultimately led to Mariah, Caira and happiness, but it’s a rant for another day.

Work suffered for a while and I nearly wound up getting fired again because online games, but I finally cut down severely and put work back in front. Of course by that point I had failed my Leaving Certificate rather badly, but I’ve honestly never had any need to put any of the material they crammed into us in those years to use. Again, the Irish secondary level education system is a rant for another day.

I threatened to quit from Currys more times than I care to count, but honestly who the fuck was ever going to hire me? So I stuck it out and had a mostly interesting time. There was the mouse in my pants, the customer who tried to seduce me, the scooter races, and the drugged up junkie who started headbutting a wall when we stopped him shoplifting.


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