“My ovaries!”

I’m not so much accident-prone as I am incident-prone, the most famous being The One With The Mouse. Video’s of that still crop up in the company at odd times. Anyways, I do have this habit of wandering into interesting situations. Anyways, I’ve had three Moments of Interestingness since last night. One was downright scary, one was funny and one was suprising. In reverse order…

The Suprising One:

There I was walking past the local supermarket last night when all of a sudden a person bounces off the bloody window and is promptly jumped upon by a girl in pink. I pulled out my camera phone and got a shot of it:

As it turns out, scions from two of our not-so-noble families ran into each other and insults started. The guy on the ground was only young, so the girl in pink picked him up and tried to hurl him through the window. Failing that, she started stamping on his head while about five other people stood around egging them on. Staff (the girl on the right), finally pulled them apart. At the time it was suprising, but in hindsight it was bloody funny.

The Funny One:

A bad habit of mine is that when I’m in a rush I bump into things, fall over and clutch whatever body part I hurt and cry piteously about my ovaries. And in a complete non-coincidence we have an electronics counter at work that runs half the length of the store. The walkway behind it (the wall is lined with shelves of goods) is about two feet wide. In a Dire Hurry this morning, I managed to bang my arm on a shelf, careen off the counter, get spun around and a shelf as I fell, upset it enough to knock a pile of laptop carry bags on top of me. And of course I just had to go crying about my ovaries. Customers inquired into whether I was that sort of person. All that my wonderful co-workers had to do was wink at them.

The Scary One:

This is pretty much why I hate having temporary and underpaid staff do anything of import. The long and short of it was that a pallet was stacked horribly badly: Large-size TV stands (36kg each) with glossy, slippy boxes were stacked 8-high on one side of a broken pallet. These were stacked on top of two fragile vacuum cleaner boxes. The other side of the pallet was comprised of a few light LCD TVs. So naturally the pallet broke and tipped while I was moving it onto the trailer of the lorry. Only for the fact I shouted for the driver to get out of the way (he was trying to catch it), he’d have been crushed. One thing that is beat into you in my job is that when something falls, you let it fall. A 10 gram knife can still lacerate your hands, the momentum of a heavier item can still pull you down with it and put out your back and a pallet of stacked, slippery items will still fall on you even if you put your shoulder under it.

Probably the pallet was stacked by summer staff who don’t give a flying fuck about those sort of details – they aren’t paid to. I still sent off an email that would make a sailor blush, along with photo evidence, to our head office. I don’t care if they started last week, are on minimum wage of a member of the fucking English royal family, they nearly killed someone today and hopefully won’t be working for us much longer.

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