Maybe the worst part of Lexapro is the blatant (and insanely unsexy) hijacking of my bowel movements: If I stay at home, I get constipated; if I go for a walk, I get diarrhea.

Thing is this: I don’t actually want to go walk. I’ve been sitting down and staring at the wall opposite me for about three weeks. Zero mental activity. Almost-zero engagement with my fellow humans, except at a distance. Disturbed sleep pattern: Awake until 5am. Wake up at 9am. Sleep again at 3pm. Rise at 7pm. Repeat.

It isn’t all bad. I finally had an epiphany about my wife and my life a few nights ago. I realized that I had been blindly and unhealthily obsessed with her because I was angry and couldn’t grasp at some deep level why and how things had come to be the way they are. In a moment I gave it all up and mentally walked away. I feel better, fresher for it. A little bit healed and a little bit ready to move on.

Now we just have to fight about the kids.


in me

Mark Grealish

Dashing brigand, handsome rapscallion, father, crazy cat lady and the world's greatest lover and liar, living in Galway, Ireland.




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