Archive for the Category funny

 
 

Best. Idea. Ever.

Stoned Guys Review Films.

Seriously. I should go to the patent office right now and file for this.

On the bus to work this morning I was sitting next to a stoner who was telling his friend about Cloverfield:

”Seriously…man. It was fucking big. It was going ROAR and…people were dying. Then came and shit flew everywhere.

”Uh. Then they, you know bombed it man. Like fucking KAPOW. Then uh, someone died. And then it was over. Man. It was fucking crazy, all this shaky camera, you know?”

I wanted to hire the guy on the spot lock him in a theatre with a bag of weed.

Imap+Growl=Spam

Heh


Imap+Growl=Spam

Children are magical. Precious.

We got home from Mariah’s parents about 40 minutes ago, and set about cleaning up the house after this morning’s excitement. Mariah and I were in our room sorting through finished laundry. We assumed that Caira was with Marilyn in the bathroom as we get glimpses of her in the bathroom, through the ajar door. The lights are on, and Caira is shrieking and laughing like someone is tickling her, so we pay it no mind until we hear a tremendous crash.

We run in there to find Caira sitting in the wash basin, shrieking, laughing, and hurling anything at hand at Princess. The poor cat is huddled in the corner and looking absolutely terrified.

Caira Clanton, aged 17 months.

Merry Christmas?

We’re fit to strangle Caira here. In the past two weeks she’s hit both the crazy twos and her “mine” phase - on one hand it’s impressive that she’s reached this stage at 17 months, and on the other…well… A 17 month old hyperactive screaming “mine mine!” at everything and generally bouncing off the walls inspires thoughts of

to think something is to give it form, right?

Any of you with children know what I’m talking about. We just wish Caira picked a better time; if she’s not swinging out of Mariah, she’s chasing the cats or trying to climb onto our Christmas presents. Generally we’re taking a lot of deep breaths and trying to beat down the urge to strangle Caira.

-_-

It’s not all bad, brat. On the chance that you’ll read this post years from now I’ll add that in the last two weeks you’ve really expanded on both your vocabulary and use of said vocabulary. When you were in the bath yesterday we had an excellent conversation. The topic of it eludes me, but it involved much deep thought and many uses of “yes!” or “no!” on your part.

Last night, I asked you to stop jumping on our bed. You looked me straight in the eye and up came the wagging finger that coincided with a loud chorus of “no no no no!” It was sickeningly cute, brat. You’re lucky you secretly melt our hearts. We’d have skinned and cooked you for dinner long before now, elsewise.