Sacred Dissatisfaction

in running

But now what now what?

It’s this same moronic question I come back to after every bitty accomplishment. Well I ran over the hill. Now what? Oh great, I tackled some ineffable inner demon. What’s next? To paraphrase the song, I don’t want what I know, but I know what I want. Everything I have done, everything I do, there’s something else next.

On Sunday I ran 25k (2 + 23.5) with a 400 metre ascent. My hydration, clothing, pace, and breaks were all as good as they could be, yet I was wide awake at one o’clock this morning wondering how I could have done it faster. It really is stupid, how I wear away my accomplishments by wanting them to be something more.


in me

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