I don’t rant much here anymore. There’s two reasons: I offend people enough as it is on a daily basis (I really am sorry, Mi), and anything I say here has this tendency to come back and bite me when I least expect it. Especially about work, I mean there was one time when a mouse…shit. See?
So I’m left to venting at oblique topics. It wouldn’t do for me to rant about the midget eskimo conspiracy to control the military-industrial complex and beam Z-waves into our heads..for all that it’s true I know I’ll wind up working for an eskimo midget at some point. It’s not easy for all of that; I’ve a hundred tics, neurosis and outright scars all crammed into my head and vying for attention. Lets start with my family: You think I’m one step above a retard. Every single time I talk to either of you I wind up being told not to be stupid or outright being ignored.
The night I told you I was getting married I spent an hour trying to convince you I wasn’t stupid for making this choice. I guess it hasn’t worked as you (in order) have somehow managed to avoid telling anyone you know, get mad at me for actually telling our cousins and act embaressed when the topic comes up at all. And you got angry becasue I didn’t tell you any sooner. Wonder why?
San Diego. The day you picked to call was the one when Mariah and I were stuck in the hotel. Caira was sick on top of that so yeah, we weren’t in the best of moods. You wound up threatening to call immigration on me becasue I never called (how was I supposed to?) and siezed upon the fact it was an incredibly shitty day to tell me to just give up and go home.
Homecoming. You both supported me because work really screwed me over on my money, but there was never any agreement with my plans. You both tried to talk me into just dumping Mariah more than once and berated me for turning back into a hermit and never talking to either of you. Why should I? What is there I could say that you’d actually make an effort to accept? You haven’t yet, and I find it endlessly painful. I went from being with a woman who respects and trusts me, to a family who think I babble in tounges at best.