Mark Grealish

the life and code of a crazy cat man


I have the flu

Influenza, the black death, the red death, greyscale, galloping crotch rot, cooties, leporsy. Call it what you will, death is nigh.


Every programmer writes this at least once in their career. def kill_orphans end

Three people called me smart last week

“Intelligent,” declared one. “Clever and driven,” said another.

Extend JavaScript object, and convert object into an array

Turns out I use these stupid methods in a bunch of places, and the search on Github isn’t the most effective. /** * Merge and extend JavaScript object. * * @param {...object} Objects to merge. * @return {object} object - Merged object. */ var extend = function() { var object = {};, function(argument) { […]

And then I left

In need of a beard trim, I entered a trendy new barbershop on Exchequer Street and requested one. They asked me for my name and email address.

Data binding with jQuery for madness, fun and profit

I began to cringe before I even finished the title. Data-binding, sure, but jQuery data-binding? The fuck? So, yeah, bear with me here. This is a weekend project that I did because I could, but there’s no way in the world I would use this on a production server. The code is brittle and has […]

When the work is out of hours

Dun Laoghaire ice cream

[summer intensifies]

Wordscramble on npm

Wordscramble is also my first npm package ever! I try to learn something new each Saturday, and today I wanted to create, test and publish my own npm package. The first subject to pop into my mind was my typewriter bogosort. Wordscramble is gloriously useless. You pass in a JavaScript object and you get it […]

A hot new look

I changed the site’s layout because I didn’t like the old version. Along the way I fixed a good deal of shit code and poor design decisions. Gone is any compatibility with Internet Explorer. Off the top of my head, I: Removed KnockoutJS in favour of a teeny jQuery pub/sub model. Removed convoluted avatar […]

I think we were burgled

I’m confused as fuck. On Wednesday our lodger reported that €150 missing from her wardrobe. On Thursday I discovered somebody had stolen from my change jar. They took only the €1 and €2 coins. On Friday, after a lot of talk, our lodger reported this to the Gardai. We had a 10pm visit from two […]

Yet despite all that, I bought one anyways

Paul Mac Eoin and I have kickstarted a new technology podcast. The Future Of. Our slogan is ‘infinity…awaits!’ The Future Of is not just about technology: I want to explore European views and the wider shifts in culture that new gadgets wreak. There are dozens of American technology podcasts full of the Bay Area or […]

Many meetings

Here’s a blast from my past: I was an avid gamer in my teens. I can’t remember every game that I played. I can say that they included Magic, L5R, D&D, and Middle Earth. I put hundreds of hours into Tribes. I collected all the things, played all the things, and that was before had […]

Killiney Hill

Show untracked git files

This has been a real lifesaver at work. [alias] untracked = !git ls-files -o --exclude-standard

Bull Island

Eadaoin got us out of the house this morning for a walk through Saint Anne’s park in Clontarf and across North Bull Island. Gorgeous day, showers aside!

Typewriter sort returns!

I am revisiting 2014’s Typewriter Permutation Simulator. Now powered by Node.js, because I want to learn more JavaScript. I have a healthy start made for a web-based performant bogosorter. var args = process.argv.slice(2); var permute = function() { var letters = this.split(''), count = letters.length; while (--count > 0) { var rand = Math.floor(Math.random() * […]

If recruiters worked in bookshops…

Spotted this afternoon in Hodges Figgis.

Nonstop 5k run!

In January I got sick of being fat. All around me, clear to see, were middle-aged (45-60) year old people who didn’t take care of themselves. Most of my ex-wife’s family struggle with being overweight; diabetes is ubiquitous and even my ex-wife is seriously obese. My dad died of an asthma attack at 63 which […]

Bash spaceship function

I have no idea why this spaceship comparison is important, but a note in the file marked it so, and now here we are. #!/usr/bin/env zsh spaceship() { if [[ $1 -lt $2 ]]; then echo -1 elif [[ $1 -eq $2 ]]; then echo 0 else echo 1 fi } spaceship $1 $2

We did it Reddit!

NPM exploded last week. The Listos version is that Kik were not happy with a developer, azer. azer had a package in NPM named ‘kik’. Kik, compelled their trademark, first reached out to azer to ask him to rename or remove his package. azer cursed out Kik, so the company escalated the matter to NPM […]

My Ireland at 100

The Irish Republic turned 100 today and Dublin hosted a huge parade today at the culmination of events centered on the 1916 Easter Rising. The city and country turned out in pride and today was the day to be Irish.

Caira and Garrett, Easter 2016

Saturday out

Alanna and Casey came down last night. What a night it was! We had coffee in Clement & Pekoe, sushi and ramen next door in Kokoro and a round of pints at the Brew Dock. Then we went back to Dundrum for homebrewed mead on the couch. On Talbot Street saw two scumbags fighting (or […]

Eadaoin’s birthday debauchery

Eadaoin’s birthday weekend was Roman in its decadence, with high tea served at the resplendent Powerscourt Hotel in Enniskerry on Saturday, and a three-course feast of Mexican food consumed on Sunday.

Have the greenest of days

I used to be a remorseless asshole when it came to the Irish diaspora because of the amount of dipshit hyphenated Americans who flouted their misunderstood past. To me you were either Irish, or you were whatever else. Never could you be both together. Great example: two ladies I knew at Expedia, one named O’Shaughnessy, […]

Mandatory vim porn

I fixed a bunch of crap (Powerline font display, mostly). Go check it out!

Eadaoin’s birthday dinner was deep

It started right off with explanations of arrays and hash tables.

Thanks Gar

Garrett has figured out that he can call me whenever, and now does so at 1am. Thanks, kiddo.

Snow day

…and I’m sick as shit. Eadaoin woke me up at about six am because there was a heavy snowfall. I, sick, proposed a walk around the neighborhood, which we promptly undertook. I got soaked, came home, emailed work to let them know I wouldn’t be in and then fell asleep until about one o’clock this […]